~~~
Passion that beats in a feeling heart
floods to the surface, a wailing heart
Seeking the means to express somehow
the shapes and the forms of a peeling heart
Struggling forth through stuttering lips
words fall to earth by the kneeling heart
Fingers outstretched land upon remains
gathering pieces, the healing heart
Aware of the edges and texture within
reborn is the voice of my feeling heart
~~~
by Brad Frederiksen
in response to the Ghazal prompt at Totally Optional Prompts
July 17, 2008 at 9:56 pm |
Yeah, I quite like the idea of a feeling heart having a voice..
July 18, 2008 at 2:01 am |
Oh, that’s a good one! Love the yearning of it, and especially the idea of a peeling heart!
July 18, 2008 at 3:51 am |
Really beautiful and moving… I particularly liked the “kneeling heart”, and the way you returned to the “feeling heart” at the end.
July 18, 2008 at 5:56 am |
I like the voices of the heart! Nice work!
July 18, 2008 at 9:18 am |
It’s always a good thing to find your voice, especially for a feeling heart.
Also, thanks for your kind comment.
July 18, 2008 at 5:28 pm |
Excellent ghazal, I like the rhythm to it (Like a heartbeat!)
July 18, 2008 at 7:37 pm |
Fingers outstretched land upon remains
gathering pieces, the healing heart
I like the idea that a touch can heal a broken heart.
I really liked your ghazal. While yours talks about healing, my ghazal speaks about a brokenness that cannot be healed. Waiting for Daylight
-Bev
July 18, 2008 at 10:04 pm |
We should listen to a feeling heart. Sometimes it speaks wiser words than an overworked head.
July 19, 2008 at 4:04 am |
an even flow of thoughts reflected… absolutely the best part… reborn is the voice of my feeling heart… amazing form the ghazal… it grows on one.. a pleasure to read everyone’s…
December 10, 2008 at 9:59 am |
Well if you didnt think you mastered the form of ghazal in your first attempt you definitely did in this poem. Bravo.