~~~
White light in fright fled the virtuous mean
Upon gathering mist laden shrouds;
Donning bright colours and offering hope
With an arc through insidious clouds.
The promising blade then withdrew to its sheath,
Replaced by a streak of milk chocolate,
Suspended below a dark blanket of hate
That groaned with intention to slaughter.
Scuttling into the Banksias high,
Armies of natives retreated.
A breeze tugged the collar and licked away tears
From leaves that would soon be defeated.
A pitter, a patter, transformed into clatter,
As sleet suffocated the earth bound.
Sonic fists punched at a trembling crust.
Lightning forks plucked at the high ground.
Relieved of the tension that led to the war
Between heavenly nation and Third Rock,
Survivors surveyed the remainders …
And promised to honor the shell shocked.
~~~
by Brad Frederiksen
in response to the Ballad prompt – Get your poem on #37
and also in response to Pen Me a Poem – Poetry Prompt 3 – War
July 28, 2008 at 4:04 am |
What a piece! The imagery of this really had me there in the moment. I like how you brought this all together.
July 28, 2008 at 6:27 pm |
Rok Ballad! This is simply marvellous!
deeply in love with dracula’s daughter
July 28, 2008 at 8:19 pm |
hi Brad, you’ve got the format bang on!
I’ve been singing this in my deepest voice..
July 28, 2008 at 8:44 pm |
Great rhythm and rhyme in these lines! I keep turning on the line “Replaced by a streak of milk chocolate…” here, which seems so incongruous with the rest… adding this layer of sweetness, making me think of a warplay among kids. Intriguing piece!
July 28, 2008 at 9:08 pm |
Yes, I was really surprised by the image of chocolate — nice work.
July 28, 2008 at 11:41 pm |
I really like this and the rich variety of words you have used. I was particularly attracted to this line: “A breeze tugged the collar and licked away tears From leaves …”
The imagery was wonderful.
Great write!