Penultimate

This is my first attempt at the antihaiku; a form that originated in the mind of Paul Squires of gingaTao. Many thanks, Paul, for explaining the intention of your antihaiku. I will defer to Paul’s judgment as to whether I have done justice to the form. For an example of Paul’s antihaiku, have a look here and scroll down through the comments for a description of the antihaiku.

~~~

her last spoken words

echo within

caves of despair

laced with blood red

crystals of blame

.

grandfather waits

and wagers his God

.

while Tic versus Toc

partners in time

compete for the prize of

his last spoken word

~~~

7 Responses to “Penultimate”

  1. Paul Says:

    That is a great antihaiku, begins in one place finishes in another, has a real edge and has great respect for structure. Fantastic and also it has a very neat pivot in the centre and is concerned with the nature of time, those are great attributes for an antihaiku. And it is a great poem in its own right. So I would say, thankyou, Brad. It was a great thrill to see someoneelse have a bash it and you did a brilliant job.

  2. Linda Jacobs Says:

    I’ve never written an antihaiku, but I’d have to say that yours is great! The spareness of the images and words is achieved with a master’s touch!

  3. paisley Says:

    oooh that was nice….

  4. lissa Says:

    antihaiku – an interesting idea, I do like the idea of directing the reader to from thought to another

    I like your antihaiku, it makes me wonder about how long one has and how precious time can be gone so fast

  5. Paul Says:

    Heh, Brad, how ther hanging? I just popped by to say thankyou for being the only person brave enough to tag anything antihaiku. Over the time I have poetry blogging I think it is the one small tiny thing I have created as a legacy, in so much as it contains my entire philosophy of art, that is about change. If a piece of art doesn’t change the observor with some immediacy, in an inexplicable way that is a fusion of emotion and intellect, it’s just decoration. From there you can build out to socio-political function, the responsibility of the artist to be an agent for change, to push boundaries and to oppose complacency as the enemy. Anyway, just popped in for a beer but you weren’t here. Antihaiku! Could also be a toast,

  6. Paul Says:

    Yours is fantastic by the way, antihaiku, I mean, the pivot in the middle,

  7. Paul Says:

    Time is not linear Brad. Just connecting dots in my eternal legacy hahahahahah. Boing boing,

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