on honey laden vapours of a sultry mist imagined
underneath a gloaming sky of maple syrup drizzled wafers
I would fingerpaint a realm of gentle whispers and caresses
creating breezy motions through erotic purple shadows
that pullulate with faeries casting stars upon the heavens
round the mesmerizing crescent of dear Venus unashamed
bathing naked in the sun
so as the final hints of colour bleed from lumens severed
from an origin occluded from your hemisphere of sight
you might gaze upon the darkness and appreciate the whisper
and caress upon your flesh of breezy motions bathed in light
18 responses so far ↓
Disturbed Stranger // January 4, 2009 at 7:37 pm |
Long time no see… I’m back :)
That was tingling Brad! I love it…
How very sensuous.
Well written.
amuirin // January 5, 2009 at 5:21 am |
i had to read this a couple times through… the rhythm of it demanded a sort of continuity to the read, and then the sounds of the words and the meaning worked in a sensual, whimsical fashion.
I kept getting stopped at this word, though: ‘pullulate’
I don’t know what it means, but it tripped me- not just cus I don’t know the meaning, but also the sound, with the double l sounds and nothing to catch on.
For me, that word disrupted the flow, and the flow seems essential to the poem.
(Happy New Year, Brad!~)
amuirin // January 5, 2009 at 5:28 am |
i had to play with it a little- I love the playful, alluring quality of how you strung the words together.
On honey laden vapours of a sultry mist imagined-
underneath a gloaming sky of maple syrup drizzled wafers,
I would fingerpaint a realm of gentle whispers and caresses
creating curlicues through your erotic purple shadows
that spark with tiny faeries casting stars upon the heavens
round the mesmerizing crescent of dear Venus unashamed-
bathing naked, naked, naked in the sun.
As the final hints of colour bleed away from lumens severed
from an origin occluded from your hemisphere of sight,
you might gaze upon the darkness and appreciate the whisper,
the caress upon your flesh of breezy motions bathed in light.
Paul Squires // January 5, 2009 at 12:07 pm |
Very fulsome rich and sensual and I love that classical rhythm.
art predator // January 5, 2009 at 5:17 pm |
some really wonderful words here brad, used quite magically and magnificently. love the rhythm and the sounds–this begs to be read aloud
deola // January 6, 2009 at 5:25 am |
This is a lovely!
Scott Ennis // January 6, 2009 at 12:58 pm |
Wow. I never much cared for the word “gloaming” until now. I always thought it was one of those archaic words that would die out a lonely death in the great graveyard of the English language. But here you breathed new life into it. This is a contest-winner. Find somewhere to submit it.
harmonie22 // January 7, 2009 at 8:36 am |
Wow. Almost, surreal and vivid, full of texture and motion, moving like a dream.
Brad // January 8, 2009 at 5:32 pm |
Thanks all.
Amuirin – you already know how much I like your edit but let me say it publicly. Magic!
Scott – I’ll give that some thought. I’m very pleased I was able to do some justice to the word. I do think ‘the gloaming’ deserves to be revived.
Sweet Talking Guy.. // January 14, 2009 at 7:52 pm |
Wonderful mix of words and imagination,
this takes me to to a whole new world – beyond.
S.L. Corsua // January 14, 2009 at 10:32 pm |
Yes, you did revive the word “gloaming” for me, too. Such a beautiful word, reminiscent of portals to the other-worldly — and in that sense, every image, line in this poem fits the theme. ;) Cheers.
Crafty Green Poet // January 16, 2009 at 7:06 pm |
Being in Scotland, the word gloaming needed no revival for me! I love the rhythm in this poem, the way it flows and the gentle surrealism of the imagery
Aareet // January 17, 2009 at 8:16 am |
“I would fingerpaint a realm of gentle whispers and caresses”
This was so incredibly tangible…so…visceral. Marvellous descriptions, and then some.
Brosreview // January 18, 2009 at 8:31 pm |
A very sensuous and playful song there. I am already a fan.
poeticgrin // January 19, 2009 at 1:45 am |
Another poem I love. I’ve read it three times this morning and I keep going back for more.
I’ve always been drawn to sweets.
Honey and maple syrup, naked in the sun… it makes me want to exhale and enjoy the moment.
You’ve chosen each word well here.
Simonne // January 19, 2009 at 10:20 pm |
Oo but I’ve missed your writing! Beautiful rhythm Brad, love it.
Wayne // January 20, 2009 at 4:36 pm |
Brad, man.
What a cream-filled nugget!
Speaking of Cream, I read this the 2nd and 3rd time to the tune of “Tales of Brave Ulysses.”
I’m so glad.
Annamari // January 23, 2009 at 11:28 am |
I like the idea of bathing in the light, and the one of bathing in the twilight even better:
“whisper and caress upon your flesh of breezy motions bathed in light”