Under the Gillard led Labor Government, new information is coming to light regarding the appearance of a man who was reported yesterday to have been “going nowhere fast by hula-hoop through a two-dimensional air vacuum” after the steely determination of Australia’s PM Julia Gillard came under scrutiny this morning from a listener to 2UE Mornings with David Oldfield.
The listener handed himself in to authorities late this afternoon, admitting that he had heard Oldfield ask for a character assessment more befitting of a Gillard who would turn on the tap for a carbon tax while at the same time arguing that people in the media shouldn’t “write crap”.
Authorities say that despite everything the listener despised about the ad-hominem shock-jocking of Oldfield and his type, he had found himself unable to resist considering the question being posed and had felt it necessary to front up.
“It wasn’t a hula-hoop at all”, said the listener in a written statement.
“It was a roue Cyr!”
The listener has been sent home without charge, though authorities have stated that he will remain under close surveillance.
