Thinking of stretching and pushing
in a different direction, more.
But there are only a small hand
ful left, and I can name them alllike
a pencil shaving and chewing
gum in the shower with the light
flickering must replace the start
ers after towelling down, or off.
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like
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My anger at you continues to grow. I do try to temper it with anything creative that I can imagine a tri-omni God might have left on his and/or her way out my world for me to get my hands on, but I don’t believe in a vengeful One.
Perhaps it is best I don’t say who you are. If I am asked, I’ll be able to say
“I don’t know. It hurt, so I wrote it.”
February 10th, 2013 at 12:01 am
There are three kinds of hurt people can leave you with. 1. The immediate painful shock hurt that is intentionally destructive and rips your world apart. 2. The small hurts over time that erode your sense of self worth until they become an unbearable doubt weight you carry for years. 3. The hurt you feel when others suffer.
Most of mine have been the first kind. I know all about anger and the swallowing of it. I know about public persecution and having no choice but to take the high road. Basically, life is shit, most people on this earth are deceptive, selfish and mean, some with cold intent, others are just cavalier about fucking you over. But in this sea of filth, there is some serious beauty like a child’s laughter that fills your soul, an old person’s smile that lights a room, a butterfly that lands on you long enough for you to see its eyes, a cold swim in pure water on a hot day, the feeling of holding hands with someone you love, feeling healthy, the pride you feel when your child tells you that you are their hero, fishing in a creek filled with rainbow trout, long weekends, having a job you love that pays your bills, reading a great work of literature and understanding it and reaching your old age knowing you did most things correctly, fulfilled your purpose and loved others well. Anger has no place on that list and in my small little opinion, anger is only useful in short burts as a type of energy to save someone’s life or your own. Other than that it’s an emotional cancer given to you by those who hurt you. I know, I just unloaded some from a horrible event in my life.
The vidoes are good. Michigan is a nice state, woodsy and very nice midwest type people. Detroit is a fuckhole.