Author Archives: Brad

About Brad

Braden Karl Frederiksen still has the small wooden treasure chest that his evil Grandmother gave him for his 8th Christmas. He can't recall how old he was when he locked the key inside nor how he locked it in there. He occasionally gives it a rattle and wonders what's making that other sound.

No Hawkers or Canvassers

I want to hire this guy to be my front doorbell.

I want to hire this guy to be my front doorbell.


Journal Entry: Wallabadah NSW

Some photos from the shaded banks of Quirindi Creek at Wallabadah NSW today, teeming with life of all sorts: a rosella chick was stuck on a mangled branch in the water, its parents in a tree above looking pretty worried and warning it back from the water when it tried to wade free. I don’t know if the catfish circling it would have eaten the poor thing, but they looked big enough to make a meal of it.

Meanwhile a variety of dragonflies whizzed about, occasionally stopping on a sticking out stick to pose for each other and flaunt their stuff. A water bug of some sort spun circles in the shallow muck at the edge. I probably wouldn’t have noticed it had it not been for me watching the toe of my boot to make sure I didn’t slip in while approaching the stranded rosella for the best close-up. I briefly considered wading in to rescue the dear thing myself, but the story goes that if you touch a bird in the wild, even to save its life, the rest of its community will shun it thereafter if not actively injure it. It’s handy I suppose to know these things; it makes it easier to live with not wanting to get my feet wet.

For a small donation of $10 you can camp overnight here, behind the First Fleet Memorial Gardens at Wallabadah, south of Tamworth, beside Quirindi creek. And 2 minutes up the road you can get the best coffee outside of Italy, and the best burgers outside of Belgium. That’s what the sign says. I had a ginger beer and took the next side road away from the highway.


Treated found prose: On attachments and connections

Insulation panel

The distance between the puncture in the base of the red take-away coffee cup specified in the attached image–produced by impalement upon the metallic post of the ‘continuous’ fencing*–and the vertical face of the adjacent insulation panel shall not exceed 100mm.

No attachment established between the continuous fencing panel and the insulation panel shall constitute a meaningful connection.

*ESC 510: Boundary Fences; 4.10.1 Insulation Panels – General, p7 of 12. [PDF]


A spider!

Spider


another Haiku

A stunning looker,
too rare to pass up this chance…
nice weather, innit?


How to make a room spin and all the heads inside it turn to face one point

Shop Assistant to Little Boy: Do you want a lolly? Have a lolly.
Father to shop assistant: No.
SA to LB: Don’t you want a lolly? Go on. Take one.
Father to SA: No. No lollies.
SA to LB: Do you want a chocolate then? Have a chocolate.
Father to SA: No.
SA to Father: Awww… but why?
Father to SA: Ummm… because I said so.
SA to LB (pouting sadly): Ohhhhhhh… becawwws your Dad “Said So”.

 

 


30 words

Sophie’s long-time mentor looked on with bewilderment as she stepped over the edge of time with trepidation on her face.

“Maybe the next one will do it properly”, he muttered.