Hey Grandpa :)
How’s it hanging, maaaaaate? Or should I say hangin’ aboot, bud? lol.
I found one of your flyers going a bit yellow among my hand-me-downs lately and felt like pointing a Canon at it. Do you like how it turned out? I know it’s a bit fuzzy in parts, but I hope you get the picture.
I’ve been thinking – with my head – like you said. Do Progressive Conservative candidates automatically go to heaven, or do they have to get more than 7.81% of the votes. Did you get any bonus points for having the middle name Peter? Do votes from Omineca’s Mountains have some kind of weighting to them over votes from Beacon Hill, Australia? Do they go a bit to the right from the centre? Why did your heart give out on you 5 years before me? Did you ever see me twinkle in your first son’s eyes? Do you know that your second son screwed your first son over for everything my Grandma would have left behind for everyone if she’d not forgotten that the only reason her first son wasn’t sitting beside her in the nursing home with her and him was because he was in Australia trying his life out to tear himself away from his family just to be with her, while your second son was telling her how shitty it was that he couldn’t bother to make the few miles from just up the road to be there for her?
Why did Grandma refuse to accept your second son’s son into my family? Was it because his mother was Japanese, or just because he was christened Peter? Did anyone notice that there might have been a reason for why I wasn’t christened?
Jesus, Grandpa!!! What’s with all the fricking questions? You’d think that a man who wanted people to vote for him with their head would have left me with all of the answers.
Yours partly,
Braden Karl Frederiksen

